Cellphones have changed the way we communicate — that is easy to see. From talking on the phone to texting, we communicate more frequently. But cellphone usage has also changed the way we communicate in person.
From sitting in a dorm lounge to sitting around a bonfire or eating at a restaurant, cell phones are a constant presence. My friends look at their texts, Facebook and Twitter almost constantly. I have watched conversations in which statements and stories have to be repeated because someone was looking at their phone and not focused on what was happening in the room. Attention was not focused on the conversation at hand.
According to Alton Barbour, author of “Louder Than Words: Nonverbal Communication,” a communicated message breaks down into three parts: verbal, vocal and nonverbal. Seven percent of a message is verbal, meaning just the words that are spoken. Of the remaining part of the message, 34 percent is vocal, which is pitch, rhythm and volume. The last 55 percent is nonverbal.
By being constantly distracted by phones, we are missing the nonverbal message. We aren’t focused on looking at people when they talk to us. Even if we do look at them part of the time, the focus isn’t on reading those nonverbal signals.
I think we have become a little disrespectful because we use cellphones so much; I am prone to it too. We are enamored with our shiny devices that connect us to people hundreds of miles away. They can be great for those connections that could easily be lost, but what about the connections in our lives now?
We are missing the people around us and what they are telling us. I think we are all a little disconnected from the world we are in because we are too connected to the world that cellphones provide.
It isn’t the fault of the cellphones. The cellphone does not do anything; it is our choice to use the cellphone in the way that we do. The cellphone has opened an amazing world and done great things, but not all the choices we make with cellphones are wise.
So maybe we should put our cellphones down for an hour or so and focus on the people around us. Watch people, learn their nonverbal expressions, absorb the whole message. I want to immerse myself in the moment and invest my attention in the people close to me, because they deserve my attention and respect.
