I feel like I'm constantly going through puberty.
I opted to take a modern dance class this quarter, and so far it's been seven weeks of mortification, the kind you feel throughout middle school.
I felt embarrassed the first day when I worried about having gas during the run-run-leap-run combo. (You know the kind. Machine-gun firing.)
I felt embarrassed the second day when we had to do partner stretching, and some of our positions-I think-should be reserved for marriage.
I felt embarrassed the third day when the professor said we would improvise dancing.
She started the music. "Okay! The floor is a magnet! You are either repelled by it or attracted to it! Go!" I snapped to the floor and scooted along, trying to pry my limbs from its pull.
"Now every time you pass someone, you have to switch directions." I scooted beside another dancer, then sprang up on my tip-toes.
"Okay! Now other people are magnets, and you're either repelled by them or attracted to them! Go!"
Crash! A freshman collided with me and bounced away.
(How is it that the freshmen in class are more comfortable looking like idiots than I am, a senior? It really does feel like middle school, and I am always the youngest ... always embarrassed ... always waiting for my breasts to come in. [Still waiting, by the way.])
"Okay! Now the ceiling is a magnet, and you're either repelled by it or attracted to it! Go!"
Enough!
"Okay! Now pretend you have a piece of chalk sticking out the top of your head. Write the alphabet." I began my curling cursive.
"Okay! Now pretend the chalk is sticking out of your ear. Write your name." S-a-r- ...
"Okay! Now the chalk is sticking out of your butt! Write the alphabet!" I gyrated, attempting to look sultry-a, b, c, yeah baby ...
Everyone else in the room seemed to instinctively know how to wind their hips in a sensual way. I probably just looked constipated.
My only consolation is that I'm in college, not high school. People won't be making fun of me if I look like an idiot. (And I'm not the only one looking like an idiot. In class, one guy likes to twirl in circles and watch himself in the mirror. You know who you are. I don't judge.)
I noticed something when I arrived at Otterbein: While we may be the size of a high school, we are more mature than a high school. There isn't necessarily a "popular crowd." You can sit with different groups in the Cardinals' Nest. You can introduce yourself to new people and not be met with weird looks.
I'm grateful for this community ... so thanks for tolerating my unsexiness.
