Life is full of awkward experiences, especially if you overanalyze your every move. And really, who doesn't?
As a junior, this is my third year living on campus, and I've racked up more embarrassing stories than I care to count. Luckily, I've emerged with battle scars and words to the wise.
Here's my guide to avoiding awkwardness around Otterbein. Maybe you've been here and can commiserate, and for that I salute you, my comrade. And if not, consider yourself lucky.
1. Remember that the right door into the north side of Towers is often locked. If you tuck your books under your left arm, you might consider switching to your right arm so that you don't have to do some graceless grab-and-dance-to-the-side maneuver just to get around the door.
2. Always check to make sure someone isn't already coming down the stairs in Battelle if you're heading up with an instrument case in hand. You'd hate to try to pull it in front of yourself and then look like you're about to take the person out with an expensive battering ram.
3. Speaking of the Battelle staircase, don't go up them in flip-flops. You might lose one between the stairs and have to run back down to a crowded lobby to retrieve it.
4. And speaking of flip-flops, don't wear them when it's raining and walk over those metal plates on the sidewalk. You will slip. And people will see.
5. Stroll across the crosswalk like you own the thing. If you hover around fearing death and hoping cars will stop, they're just going to fly by because you're acting like a human statue.
6. Never stand up too suddenly in the Campus Center. Your chair will fall and you'll get slow-clapped, guaranteed.
7. If you plan on being out late, triple check that you've got your Cardinal Card with you. Calling security at three in the morning to be let into your dorm is no fun.
8. Never, under any circumstances, take out your cell phone and fake a phone conversation to avoid talking to someone. We are all cooler than that.
9. The more you freak out about people inside the Otterbean Café watching as you walk by the tinted library windows, the dumber you will look. So don't sweat it.
10. Read the signs listing what's for dinner in the Nest. It saves you the embarrassment of asking for the chicken and being told, "Um, these are potatoes."
There's nothing wrong with being yourself and no sense in trying to be perfect and socially adept all the time (no one is socially adept all the time), but there's also nothing wrong with rescuing your pride before it gets injured.
And if you do mess up, brush it off. Haters gonna hate. t&c;
