For the sanity of our readers, I try to keep the words “grandmother,” “sticky” and “similar to mayonnaise” out of my articles.
However, this week I find myself in a sticky situation that I think my grandmother could help me with. Recent studies highlighted by USA Today and NPR show that young people, especially college students, are moving away from traditional dating. But how do you define traditional? Well, I called my grandmother, and she had this to say:
Me: “Hey Grandma, it’s Dennison. Can we talk about old-school dating?”
Grandma: “Where am I and what is a Dennison?”
I found her wandering through a library looking for the whole-foods section, and after a bit of coaxing with some caramels got her safely back home. But I was no closer to my answer because it’s hard for anybody to define what makes dating traditional.
The articles and studies I reviewed stated that dating between couples is faster and more serious than ever, but only if it moves past a “hookup,” defined vaguely as anything from a kiss to staying the night. In the past, relationships began before sexual encounters. Dinner dates were made, time was spent to get to know the other person and see if he or she was compatible, and if things worked out, it got more serious.
For our generation, it is more likely we have no-strings-attached relationships with each other that are purely physical.
Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas and author of “Premarital Sex in America,” claims that part of the reason is the increased number of women on college campuses, an issue Otterbein is all too familiar with. Because so many women are competing for the same guys, men have more control over how fast a relationship develops and through what means.
But more realistically, who has time for a real relationship? As tuition increases and wages decrease, parents are finding it harder to pay for their children’s college, so a lot of students get jobs.
On top of that, there are things like graduate school, study abroad programs, independent projects, etc. — all of this added to our already heavy workload. For many students, a relationship can become too much of a hassle or just plain impossible.
So what exactly does this mean for us? Does it mean we are all immoral heathens, or is this just evolution? Everyone knows that texting and the Internet have changed how we interact with one another. They make contact more immediate, but often less personal. But I can see no harm in people delaying relationships to pursue their goals.
Modern women are realizing they don’t need to find a spouse in college and can provide for themselves. Men are realizing … um, get back to me on that.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in the past 50 years, the average age of marriage has jumped about five years, 27 for males and 25 for females. Call it what you will, but people need to understand themselves before they can truly understand others, and that takes experimenting — trial and error, pain, happiness, loss and acceptance.
Every generation calls the one after it immoral; they criticize their music or mock their political views. I believe what we are seeing is an increase in goal-oriented adults with personal achievement in mind, and I can’t find anything wrong with that.
