Olivia
When Fox News indicates that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, it raises questions about the “right” age to marry. When college students or recent graduates rush to the altar, do they really know what they are signing up for?
As an intern with a local wedding-planning company, you might be surprised that I have reservations when couples decide to get married while in college or shortly after graduating. Little girls’ dreams are composed of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” but are they being educated on what this means not only on their special day, but for the rest of their lives?
Sophomore Katy Major, a creative writing and women’s, gender and sexuality studies major, said she doesn’t like the idea of marriage at a young age.
“I believe that young people still need to fully mature and develop before making a lifelong commitment, as well as focus on achieving goals that aren’t romantic before the focus is on such a serious partnership all the time.”
The pressure to have a fairy tale relationship and bind yourself to another person has been in our society for quite some time, making men and women believe that they cannot be selfish and put their own dreams before anyone else’s.
According to Marist College, the human brain is not fully developed until a person is 25 years old. If students can’t figure out who they are as individuals, how can they expect to figure out who they are with someone else?
The way I see it, I am a student at an amazing university with the world at my fingertips. I have the opportunity to travel, live wherever I want to, experience different cultures, enjoy my time on this earth as an individual and choose any career I would like. I do not want my choices and decisions to be limited by anything, or anyone.
It may sound selfish, but it seems that when you are married, you choose to put that person’s happiness and well-being before yours. And if you love someone enough to want to marry them, that’s not a bad thing.
But marriage also means compromise and sacrifice. At our age, why limit yourself? You have your entire life to do that, why not be selfish for a while?
Weddings are beautiful, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about my own, but I’m only 20.
Please consider the statistics and your future and development as an individual before you jump into something you might regret down the road.
It may be beneficial to experience more than one relationship to enable you to fully appreciate the person you decide to commit your life to.
So enjoy being young, expand your horizons without limitations and experience and challenge life so that when you do meet the person you want to marry, you have life experience and a strong belief in self to bring to the table.
Grasp the opportunity we have in this day and age to make your own decisions, cultivate your skills as an individual and rejoice in your accomplishments. If you give it up early you might end up resenting the person you marry and have a life of regret.
Julia
Remember being in elementary school and thinking that 20 was so old, thus, you’d have everything figured out by the time you were 25? Well, for some, including myself, that is not the case. Things change, people change and plans change. But for some people, that schedule is right on track. It seems to me that more and more people are getting engaged or married in, or right out of, college.
Most of society and our peers look at these couples and think it is downright crazy, but I’ve come up with a few points that make for valid arguments. The first being that when you’re in a relationship with someone, you are one on one; no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. No one outside of those two can understand what goes on between them. That is why they know what is right for their relationship, regardless of age.
Engaged senior Anna Gibb might be able to offer some insight.
“You know it’s right when they are there to support you and your future plans, and all they want to change is adding themselves to those plans.”
This leads me to my second point. Wouldn’t it be great to meet someone early enough so he or she knows what you want to do with your life (and vice versa) and is on board to go wherever life takes you? It’d be unfortunate to meet someone you love, but you are in different places. At that point, you or your significant other might not be willing to change everything you’ve worked for.
The third and perhaps the most important point is that you live one life, so do what makes you happy. I value marriage and think it’s a big step in life. If you think you’re ready and you’ve got it figured out by the time you’re 21, kudos! Happiness can sometimes be a hard thing to find in this life, so if you find someone who makes you happy enough, keep them. There are ways to fix marriages should they turn out sour or if regret comes in later. But in the meantime, let the couple figure it out and let them be happy.
