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(03/13/08 4:00am)
At the end of one of the greatest movies ever made, "American History X," the main character is writing a paper for school, and he writes "My brother always told me to end a paper with a quote, because someone has already said it better than you ever could." Because of the truth in that, clichés and motivational paragraphs seem to rule our lives.One of those that fly under the radar, and that I love, is from the movie "The Girl Next Door": "Always make sure the juice is worth the squeeze."As I give you my final column in the Tan & Cardinal, I can't help but realize that being in debt up to my scalp from Otterbein has definitely been worth the best four years of my life. The juice was worth the squeeze.It's hard to believe that four years have come and gone. Through the 50 columns that I have given you, I hope, in some way, that your emotions were moved. Whether it be a tear when reading about the amazing life of Tristan Shy, or a chuckle or two from my attempts at lame humor, I hope that in some way your day was made better by my words.I owe so much to Erin Sites, one of the best people I'll ever meet (if the world was full of Erin Siteses we would call that heaven), as well as Rachel Scali and Lianne Simeone for giving me space to share my thoughts on life and Otterbein sports with you. I'm truly indebted to them.These four years have given me the best memories a person could ever ask for, an education that will put me (and you) ahead of the majority of our peers and the absolute best friends anyone could ever ask for. A good attitude toward life makes success inevitable. A good attitude comes from surrounding yourself with the right people. With the relationships I've formed here, success is a given.I really want to name off names of people that have made my time at Otterbein unbelievable, but I fear that someone will be left hanging. A few must be dropped though, my great roommates John Luchsinger, Ross Miller, Tom Long and Matt Brown, for four years we all have lived within 20 feet of each other, and I can't imagine having it any other way. Matt and Tom have become my two best friends, and if someone has two better friends than those guys, show them to me and I'll call you a liar. From Paul Stelzer to Scott DeLong, to Ross Banaszak's picture-perfect jump-shot, to Ms. Consistent Sara Fee, to Doug Stevens and Dan Remenowsky making hitters look like Gumby and from all other Otterbein athletes that have completed my life, I simply say: Thank you.The juice was worth the squeeze. t&c;
(03/06/08 5:00am)
With sports journalism comes the throwing aside of fan-hood. Impartiality is the name of the game. Choose no sides, give the facts - who, what, where, when and why the heck should anyone care - and go on your merry way. That's a little too straight-laced for me, and most of the time sports give us zero enjoyment unless we have a rooting interest.Obviously, I always had a rooting interest when it came to Otterbein sports. I wore my Cardinal heart on my sleeve for four years. Easily, though (with all due respect to all other athletes, I love you guys too), my favorite players to watch and cover the past few years have been Sara Fee, Chelsea Callif, Ana Gamble and Katie Homan.On a campus so small that a sneeze by the Campus Center gets a "Bless you" from Roush Hall, it's hard not to become dear friends with more than half the people we come across here. I watched four of the best people I've ever met play their final basketball game against - well, I'm not even going to say against who - this past week.It would be impossible to say everything that I would like to about these girls in the space the Tan and Cardinal is gracious enough to give me. All four epitomize what it means to be a Cardinal. Sara Fee, who has made the Dean's List all 10 quarters and was named in "ESPN The Magazine"'s All-Academic First Team in District IV, became a consistent staple in the lady Cardinals' arsenal for four solid years. One thousand points and a three-time selection to the all-OAC team, Fee was the definition of consistency. More importantly, she was the definition of a great person. Ana Gamble made the game look so easy, Chelsea Callif played her role better than anyone, and Katie Homan worked harder than probably all Otterbein athletes combined. Their skills aside, I'm thrilled that the majority of my four years was spent with four of the nicest, funniest (show me someone funnier than Ana and Chelsea please) and easygoing people I'll ever have the privilege of meeting. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you four for four of the greatest years of my life. Impartiality? Mission: Impossible with these four personalities. Thanks for the memories!You smell that? Sounds like brats are broiling in the air and it's only a matter of time before this horrible weather breaks and we play some baseball. This is the second-to-last article that I will ever write for the Tan and Cardinal. I'll get more mushy next week but, in the meantime, someone toss me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. Let's play some baseball! t&c;
(02/28/08 5:00am)
There are so many different techniques and sciences when it comes to sports. A pro golfer's hips shoot through inhumanly fast (Shakira tells us our hips don't lie, or maybe hers don't and everyone else's tell the truth...who knows). A baseball swing looks so effortless there's no way it would make a sphere of rawhide fly 400 feet (hold the steroids jokes...OK maybe you're right).With heartfelt respect to those and other sports, nothing quite satisfies me like a good jump-shot--the lost art, as they say. If that's the case, the renaissance of the jump-shot, the DaVinci and Michelangelo of the "J" if you will, were on display the past few years, dawning tan and cardinal.Ross Banaszak and Adam Wells concluded their Cardinal careers against Capital (how's that for alliteration?) last Saturday at the Rike Center. Michelangelo and DaVinci left as two of the greatest jump-shooters Otterbein has ever seen.Needing 36 points to reach the 1,000-point mark for his career, Wells set a career-high with--you guessed it--36 points thanks to a perfect 10-10 from the free-toss line. Not only did he land smack on 1,000, Wells hit a three with 59 seconds remaining in the game, giving him his 200th career three-point field goal.Wells scored 600 of his 1,000 career points from 19 feet, 9 inches away. The guy can shoot a little bit.Chipping in 18, Banaszak ended his incredible career with 1,368 points, 13th on the all-time Otterbein scoring list.The point-man added one more Otterbein record to his resume, finishing with a career mark of 90 percent at the free-throw line. This smashed Kevin Shay's old all-time mark of 82 percent. Oh yeah, he also dropped 359 dimes in 102 career games.Let me go ahead and give you your work-out for the day while I've got your attention. Ross Banaszak played 2,422 of a possible 2,455 minutes the past two seasons. Yeah, he missed a grand total of 33 minutes the last 51 games of his career! Don't worry about hopping on that treadmill now--Ross just did the work for you.Otterbein played 77 basketball games this year and last year, and Banaszak was in the starting five for 76 of them. The one he missed was because of a death in the family...go ahead and lie down for a minute Ross, it's OK now. By the way, of the more than 100 games that I saw Ross Banaszak play, I kid you not, I didn't see him sweat once. I think he has X-ray vision too, by the way.What a great career, guys. I didn't do a darn thing, but I had a lot of fun covering these two. I sure am going to miss Otterbein basketball. t&c;
(02/20/08 5:00am)
Few movie quotes enter the ears and go straight to those hairs on the back of your neck (even though back hair is gross). The 1986 movie "Hoosiers" is one that sports movie fans will not soon forget: "... and David took a stone from the bag and slung it ... knocking the Philistine to the ground."Just before Hickory took the floor in Butler University's famed Hinkle Fieldhouse, the Reverend spoke those words to eight Hickory Huskers, minutes before they beat South Bend Central in one of the greatest upsets in sports history. The Huskers slung the stone and knocked South Bend Central to the ground, becoming the 1954 Indiana State Basketball Champions. An enrollment of 64 boys defeated Goliath, with an enrollment of 2,800 boys. Did you know the actual Hoosiers team defeated a sophomore by the name of Oscar Robertson in the semi-finals that same year? Another underdog is taking on the beast this Saturday. With the Ohio Athletic Conference (OAC) regular-season crown already wrapped up, Capital comes into the Rike Center Saturday with thoughts of slaughter on their minds.After thrashing the Cardinals 86-57 at the Cap Center, (really, Capital, that's all the more creative you could be in naming your gym?), those darn Crusaders will take the short trip to Westerville for what they perceive to be a cake walk.In 1980, a hockey team made up of all amateurs headed to Lake Placid, NY for the winter Olympics with hopes of at least getting to the medal round. The Soviet Union had won gold in 1960, 1964, 1968, 1972 and 1976. Coach Herb Brooks had a dream of slaying Goliath in the 1980 Winter Games.That thought was all but crushed when the U.S. lost to the Soviets 10-3 in an exhibition game at Madison Square Garden. Clearly, the U.S. was no match for the best team the hockey world had ever seen. As the famous story goes, the red, white and blue then took down the Commies 4-3 in the greatest upset the sports world had ever laid eyes on.Getting smashed 10-3 earlier in the year; Otterbein losing to the heaven-sent Capital Crusader basketball team 86-57, in a game they trailed 38-6 at one point; the U.S. then pulling the upset in the Olympics ... You see the parallels, I won't insult your intelligence.With a stone in hand, David will go toe-to-toe with the Philistine known as Capital this Saturday in the Rike Center. Aren't sports great?
(02/13/08 5:00am)
According to society's standards, streaking is considered an indecent act. Any instance that involves a naked person running through an event (which many people are attending) is generally frowned upon.However, in certain cases, streaking can be a positive endeavor. Something that tickles my fancy is Will Ferrell in "Old School," running through the quad and into the gymnasium in the buff. Don't forget to bring your green hat.The Otterbein women's basketball team has their green hat on right now. The team is streaking with four consecutive victories and five wins in its last six outings on the hardwood.My apologies for not putting the spotlight over Laura Roth sooner. With that aside, it's important to note that the junior from Cincinnati has reached the 1,000 career point plateau, and is threatening to become Otterbein women's all-time leading scorer next year.With four games remaining, Roth and the OC ladies find themselves in a prime position to gain a top-four finish in the Ohio Athletic Conference (OAC), as well as host their first-round game in the conference tournament. Crucial games with Baldwin-Wallace (B-W), Capital and Wilmington will determine the seeding-fate of the Otterbein Cards.B-W, Capital and Wilmington all hold three of the top four seeds in the OAC as we speak.Capital and Wilmington are both at home; wins there would place Otterbein in the top four in the conference, giving them that home-court advantage in round one.After a huge win over the third-place Ohio Northern Polar Bears, coach Connie Richardson's Cards put themselves in the driver seat of their own fate. The name of the game is pretty simple with this team: don't turn the ball over, and win games. Games like last week's--which saw Otterbein turn it over 18 and 19 times--won't get it done. Though the contest ended with the Cardinals on the victorious side, hovering around the 20 turnover mark in a single game will send the ladies packing early and into the off-season.Consistency needs to be maintained as well. During this four-game stretch, at least four Cardinals have scored in double figures. If that offensive balance continues and the defense steadily improves, this team can win the whole darn thing. We can only hope that the Otterbein ladies continue to wear their green hat and go streaking into the post-season.
(02/07/08 5:00am)
I once wrote about how our emotions tend to trick us. Or maybe it's the other way around. It's a tough sell and makes us feel uneasy, but we try to feel sentiments that apply to a given scenario.I think about the Barenaked Ladies and their hit song "One Week": "I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will." I'm not quite sure what that means. I've never laughed at a funeral, but it's very provocative. I've discussed how weird the feelings are when someone we love passes. You never know quite what to say to anyone, or how to hold your arms, or what face to present. All our emotions tell us is that we should feel melancholy in some way.This may be far-fetched, but follow me here: it's a lot like recruiting in big-time college football. We shouldn't care, but we do. I guess it's the inverse of the funeral situation, but it's case-in-point in the way our emotions toy with us.Why should we care about the plans of an 18- or 17-year-old kid for the next four years of his life? Is it really necessary to pay money to a Web site so that we can post "Terrelle Pryor is a Buckeye!"?No, it's not, but many do. This is why recruiting insiders, like Scouts Inc. and Rivals.com, make millions of dollars off our obsession with who will lead our beloved teams the next few seasons. We shouldn't care, but we do.The obsession with Terrelle Pryor, "the next Vince Young," has become a three-ringed circus with no finale of trapeze artists and talking elephants in sight. Eighth graders are ranked now . . . eighth graders! Since he graduated junior high and left for Jeanette High School in Pennsylvania, Terrelle Pryor has had a microscope on him that would make even Chris Hanson cringe. (Have a seat, recruiting insider . . . right here.)Have I immersed myself in the stupid hoopla that envelops this kid? Yes. Am I proud of it? No. But I know where to draw the line and I already have.Terrell Owens (coincidence on the first name? I think not) is trying to patent his phrase "I love me some me!" But, I think it's on hold, as the buffoons surrounding Pryor make his head swell larger than Paris Hilton's.As I reported on National Signing Day for six straight hours on Wednesday, I began to wonder what my life had become. Was I that guy who talks about how good he was back when he played (yes, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter-mile)? No, because, well, I wasn't very good. Am I trying to vicariously live through another human being? No. But something just isn't right with all of this.College football is a monster that gives ESPN billions of dollars in revenue every year. There's a reason the family of networks in the worldwide leader in sports telecasted over 400 live games in 12 weeks. Instead of being pleased with right now, we want to know what's next. We don't want to live for today and enjoy it--we want to keep progressing and get the upper-hand on everyone two days in advance.That's the nature of media. It's not the story that happened today, it's the one that's going to break tomorrow. This is the brainchild and culprit of our obsession with high-level collegiate football.We don't want to celebrate a Buckeye team that over-achieved and made the national title game--we want to know when our next glass football is going in the Woody Hayes Athletic Center.I cash a paycheck that stems from knowing the ins and outs of recruiting. If you're going to do something, you may as well do it right. Do I love it? It's fun but not fulfilling. I spend many hours a week finding out what Terrelle Pryor's next move is, or when the top linebacker in Jim Tressel's latest recruiting class is enrolling. Remember the name Etienne Sabino--you heard it here first--he's the next great Ohio State linebacker.I'm not ashamed of what I do, nor should you be ashamed of your love for it. It's the society we live in: Don't tell me what happened, tell me what is about to happen. I thrive off of that notion. There is no embarrassment or looking back in shame at your fixation with the Ohio State recruiting class of 2008.Since I've got your attention: remember that name Etienne Sabino and remember others like Mike Adams (remember Orlando Pace?), Lamaar Thomas (Percy Harvin, look out) and Orhian Johnson (another Troy Smith), because these are the guys that will be leading the scarlet and gray for the next few years. Enjoy it.The class of 2009? It looks just as promising, believe me.Sorry, I don't do eighth grade rankings. That's all you get.
(01/31/08 5:00am)
To me, there's no such thing as a good lie, unless it's my Titleist sitting center-cut in the fairway (oh warm weather, please come fast, I'm ready to blow my money on a game I'm terrible at). The reason numbers and I get along so well is because they don't lie. Abraham Lincoln never told a lie and neither do my friends the digits.From Warren Spahn's palindrome of 363 career wins (most wins by a left-handed pitcher), to Stan Musial's 3,630 hits (here's one to use on your friends, Musial had exactly 1,815 hits at home and 1,815 on the road), numbers tend to stick to my brain like a statically-charged t-shirt. When Dick Reynolds hit career win number 600 last year, it made me ponder the difficulty of such a milestone. It's weird to think that a coach would have to average 20 wins a season for 30 years in order to reach such a plateau. Needless to say, the guy knows a lot about that little rock.This past Saturday was Reynolds at his best. Seven days after an embarrassing loss to those darn Capital Crusaders, his Cardinals were hosting the third-best team in the Ohio Athletic Conference (OAC). All the stars were aligned and the chips were laid for the beginning of a possible downward spiral that would make Britney Spears look like a beauty queen.Instead, Reynolds had his team primed for the best win of the season. At one point last weekend, Otterbein was beating the John Carroll team (a team that was riding a four-game winning streak that included a win over the talented Heidelberg team and the athletic Wilmington Quakers) by 39 points. It was the Cards' first taste of victory in four weeks.Against those baboons from Bexley, the OC had just five assists as a team. At the half, they were shooting a vomit-inducing 12 percent from the field. Seven days later, Otterbein was breaking the school record for three-point field goals, with 18, and dishing out 23 assists on 33 field goals. The unselfish play led to a win that should and will get the ball rolling.Give Dick Reynolds a full week of practice to prepare for any team and I give Otterbein the upper-hand. It all just seemed to click: Brian Pollock locked down the OAC's second leading scorer (don't let the stat sheet fool you; Terry Walsh's 27 points were all in junk time and eight of them came at the line), and everybody and their mother was on fire.Moral of the story: Dick Reynolds is the best game coach you may ever see, regardless of division. Give me a team with a lot of heart and Dick Reynolds on the bench, and I'll show you a basketball team that you should be darn proud of.
(01/24/08 5:00am)
It's early afternoon in Lemay Auditorium. Dr. Uwe Tritman is conducting a final for over 40 Otterbein students in his INST: Our Place in The Universe (astronomy) class. Palms are sweating, eyes are blinking rapidly in an attempt to fend off the sleepiness caused by zero hours of sleep and endless cramming of notes from the 10 weeks that sit in the rearview mirror. Through the windshield: a stack of papers that equal a high percentage of your grade. Stress levels are sky high.Sitting in his desk and focused on the task at hand, Otterbein's then-junior point guard Ross Banaszak dives head first into his final hurrah with Dr. Tritman. In the back of his mind . . . his girlfriend Jessica O'Connors is nine months into her pregnancy, and is due any minute now."Do not call me unless it happens; I need to focus on this final," Banaszak tells his girlfriend before leaving.Five questions into the exam, his phone vibrates louder and harder than it ever has before. The caller I.D. flashes "JESS." That's right. It happened.A hello was not in store, instead Banaszak proclaimed, mid-exam, "You've got to be kidding me, really?""Yup," said the mother-to-be.The AthleteRoss Banaszak exemplifies everything 36-year head coach Dick Reynolds wants and needs in his floor general: tough, humble, talented, stoic, athletic, intelligent beyond belief and able to read defenses the way Reynolds demands of his point guard.Over 1,000 points later (and enough all-conference recognition to fill a trophy case), Banaszak sits in the midst of his senior season with little to prove. As a junior, Ross played the most minutes of any player in the entire Ohio Athletic Conference (OAC). My WOBN counterpart Heath Trabue dug deep into the archives and figured that he missed only 20 minutes the entire 2007 season. To put this more into perspective, the 1,480 minutes that the Cardinal men were on the hardwood last year, Ross was on the floor for 1,460 of those! Phew, makes me tired just typing that.Few people realize that the current leading scorer in the OAC is also the proud father of Andrew Lawrence Banaszak. Born February 27, 2007 to Ross Banaszak and Jessica O'Connors at Riverside Hospital. 8 lbs., 8 ounces. It was June of 2006 and Banaszak was going toe-to-toe with world-class athletes at the Worthington Summer Basketball League. It was always play, change and call the girlfriend. This summer's day was a little different."I got a call from Jess saying she was pregnant. Of course I asked if she was sure, and three tests already had come up positive. I told her to take another one and come over," Banaszak said. Ross and Jessica explained the situation to her mother, who was a young mother at one time herself. She was cool and collected and talked the two through the situation. Then, they call Ross's older brother Matt to inform him of the news. Otterbein Head of Security and Ross's dad Larry Banaszak was yet to be informed."I went home for the weekend and was sitting on the couch with my family. My dad got up and went out the door, then he poked his head back in and asked 'Ross, is Jess pregnant?'" Banaszak said.Ross shot a look over at Matt as if to say "You told him?!" Matt's shrug and raised eyebrows told the story that he was not the culprit."I had a dream last night that she was," Larry Banaszak explained.The eerie premonition from the night before was correct."I told him yes and he just said 'I'm going for a run,' and took off," Ross said.Once everyone was on board it was time to inform his coach, Dick Reynolds, of the news.However, Coach Reynolds had to hear it through the grapevine."I always keep school and family life separate. I don't know why, I just never told him. It's one of my biggest regrets ever--not telling him right away. If I could do it all over again, I wish I could change that," Banaszak said.After nine hours of labor, Ross and Jessica were officially mommy and daddy. The Father"I just couldn't believe it. It's like any father. I was shocked, yet so happy. I'm responsible for a living, breathing person. Words just can't describe it," Ross attempted to explain.Then came the realization that they actually were mommy and daddy."We came home that first night and it was like 'What do we do?' I mean, we read all the books and asked our parents a bunch of questions, but nobody can prepare for what it's actually like," he said.Like only a mother can be, Jessica was "on top of her game," as Ross put it. "Hold the baby this way, change the diaper like this, swaddle the baby with the blanket like this and so on. Within a couple of days she had the baby's schedule down pat. From his eating schedule, to his nap time, it was all a routine for her," Ross said.Then came basketball."I knew I was going to play from the get-go, it was just how we were going to do it financially. Daycare is just too expensive, so we had to stagger our class schedule so that I was home when she wasn't, and she was home when I wasn't, and when our parents were off and when our siblings could take care of him," he said. Now that baby Andrew can walk some, it makes leaving for class in the morning more difficult than breaking down the walls of Fort Knox."He sees me put my sweat-shirt on and he shakes his head 'uh-uh,' and stands in front of me and cries when I try to leave. It's really hard," Banaszak said with a shake of his head.Separating family life and basketball is done in such a way that only an all-world point guard can do. "I know when I'm on the floor, I'm responsible for the 12 other guys. When I'm at home, I'm responsible for those two [Jessica and Andrew]. I can't explain it, but as soon as I get in that car, I'm Dad and no longer a basketball player," Banaszak said.Words can't explain what it's like to be a new daddy. Words can't explain many things. But they can attempt to tell a story that few people will ever go through. If Webster's Dictionary had an entry for "Otterbein Athlete," Ross Banaszak's mug would be planted right next to it. Ross is the poster boy, and the guy you point at when someone asks "What's an Otterbein Cardinal?"That's him. Right there. The point guard.
(01/23/08 5:00am)
Last week was the first time I've ever called anyone out in the 36 weeks I've been writing for the T&C.; I was very hesitant to "call out" the defense the way I did. But, journalism is all about sorting out facts and presenting them in such a way that entertains and yet informs. I expected some sort of backlash. Walking out of Memorial Stadium Saturday, I was greeted by defensive end Alex Kriss. After a hand shake and a congratulatory hug, Mr. Kriss grinned and boasted, "How 'bout that defense now?" Trying to replace All-OAC defensive end Tyler Evans is about as easy as replacing Bob Barker on The Price is Right (I love Drew Carey, but wow he's bad). Lucky for the Cards, the transition has been much easier than CBS's switch from the savvy Barker to the bumbling Carey. The entire front seven for Otterbein had the game of their lives. Eric Burnsides and Wil Longsdorf were extremely fun to watch. Capital quarterback Wade Bartholomew will not soon forget running for his life from No.11, Burnsides, and No. 43, Longsdorf. Watching good linebackers is like poetry in motion. Filling gaps and taking proper pursuit angles allowed four turnovers on downs for the Cardinal defense. Jim Collins at Capital is a very good coach. He realized that the Cardinal defense had struggled all season long. He had such little respect for the Otterbein D that he went for it on fourth down six times. Only two of those were during desperate and obvious four-down situations. Those were the two they converted. The other four were during the first half, and all four were stuffed by the stingy Cardinal defense. Cue Aretha Franklin. R-E-S-P-E-C-T Coach C. Find out what it means to the OC "D." Matt Spitz is one of the greatest kickers to ever soccer-style swipe a pigskin in Division III. He has almost every Capital kicking record to his name. Last year he was an All-American and broke the school record for kick-scoring against the Cards in Bexley. Spitz lined up for a chip-shot 20-yard field goal just before the half. Scott DeLong leaped and blocked the kick: the play of the game. Or was it? In the ensuing play, the Cardinals fumbled and again the defense had to try to hold the Crusaders out of the end zone. Instead of kicking it on fourth down from the Otterbein 8-yard line, Collins went for it. And again the Cardinals threw it back in the Crusaders' face. The Cardinal defense got it done. If the Cardinals win out, and Ohio Northern falls at Baldwin Wallace this week, Otterbein is in the playoffs! No time to rest on your laurels, defense. Go to it again this Saturday in New Concord.
(01/17/08 5:00am)
I'm really glad the law-making bodies in America have devoted such a bulk of attention to the important life-or-death issue of steroid use in baseball. I slept so well last night knowing that the Congressional hearings were finally over and all this steroid talk could finally cease to exist. Ha-ha, I made a funny.(Insert Jim Carrey voiceover, when he got pulled over in "Liar Liar.") Never mind the fact that the economy is in shambles, oil costs both arms and both legs, educational funding is a joke, the housing industry is in shambles, Nickelback is still making music, homelessness is still everywhere, and oh yeah there's that one war still going on. Instead of spending cash money on any of these important issues, we focus on a game that's been corrupt for years. We can't place asterisks by the records of Barry Bonds or any record of the Steroid Era, for that matter. We don't put one by Cy Young's record for wins as a pitcher (who pitched every second day and from a mound that was only 50 feet away from home plate), or Babe Ruth's records (neither of these guys had to face the best the league had to offer--baseball had yet to integrate). I've always felt that we force ourselves to feel emotions that are fitting for a certain situation. It's like at a funeral when you feel like you should cry, but for some reason can't bring yourself to tears. We feel like we should care about "cheating" in baseball, and we act like we do because the law of emotions tells us we should be furious, but we're not. Pitchers mess with the ball (just ask Harris from Major League), hitters use more pine tar then they should, base runners steal signs and blah blah blah. Listen, baseball is great; it always will be. If a report came out today that every single player who has ever played the game cheated somehow, we'd still line up for tickets on opening day, and we'd still help Major League Baseball shatter yearly attendance records.We act like we care, and maybe deep down somewhere we do. But members of Congress, let us care about it and pass judgment. In the meantime, get us the hell out of Iraq, take care of gas prices, homelessness and other important issues.Can we get a congressional hearing to order Nickelback off the record store shelves?
(01/09/08 5:00am)
Well, the South Eastern Conference (SEC) is better than the Big Ten. Sorry. Believe me, it hurt me as much to type it as it did for you to read it. Take a second or two to let it set in (whiskey tends to help).Okay, now that the sting from that bourbon is gone, we can have some closure: the SEC is better than the Big Ten. Frankly, it's about as obvious as Britney Spears's sanity (will you just go back to being hot again and lay off the meth?).On Monday, Louisiana State University (LSU) put Kanye West's work into motion: They were just bigger, faster and stronger. Maybe we shouldn't measure conferences by depth, but there's no denying that the best team in the Big Ten can't handle the best the southerners have to offer. I guess if it at first you don't succeed; try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again. After their ninth consecutive bowl loss to an SEC opponent, saying Ohio State University (OSU) can compete with the SEC is like saying George W. Bush has a higher IQ than Forrest Gump (your boy's...different, Mrs. Bush). After Florida had it handed to them by Michigan, the table was set for the Big Ten to become the filet mignon of the college football world. Instead, they turned into a burnt steak, or maybe a TV dinner would be the proper comparison?LSU converted eight of ten third downs in the first half, 11-18 on the game, and were in third and five or longer just four times during the entire game! OSU became uncharacteristically undisciplined. Eighty-five penalty yards from five personal fouls--the most they had all season by far. Matter of fact, you can combine the last three Ohio State games and still not have 85 yards of penalties. Wisconsin had a chance to beat Tennessee (and should have) and Ohio State became the little brother that follows his big brother around, begging to be allowed to play. Unfortunately, LSU finally let them play, even after warning them how bad of a beating they would get. Maybe it was play-calling, maybe it was better athletes, maybe it was a non-focused Buckeye team, maybe it was all of the above. Either way, OSU got their bells rung.I'm a Buckeye fan, always will be. But, I'm also a realist. I've spent hours upon hours defending the "Debacle in the Desert" last year against Florida. I tried to argue that the Big Ten is on the same pedestal as the schools bordering the Gulf Coast and the Atlantic Ocean...but it was all in vain. Ohio State is good, yes, but not great. Ohio State had a chance to be on the same level as the Patriots (three national titles in six years); they now ride shotgun with Jim Kelly and the four-time losers of the Super Bowl: the Buffalo Bills of the early 90s.Ifs and buts might be candy and nuts, but hearing "We Are the Champions" is better than making your ears bleed with "Another One Bites the Dust." Darn you, Queen! The good news is, my pessimism is done.Most importantly: Michigan still sucks. Bartender, I'll take another round.