So, you just got back from a long night of “socializing” and somehow managed to stumble back to your dorm with all your stuff in your pockets. Success! Now to just open the door and then, just like that, your night of fun is ruined by the tangled mass of sweating bodies on your roommate’s bed.
Why didn’t they put a sock on the door? Why didn’t they text you? What were they using that inflatable Santa Claus for? What are you supposed to do now?
According to Stanford University’s ongoing research on college sex life, students are tending to date less and hook up more. Their research states that, by senior year, 72 percent of both sexes reported having at least one hookup, with an average of 9.7 for men and 7.1 for women. This means you are likely to encounter a scenario similar to the one I mentioned, but much less graphic.
I began by asking my roommate Adam Brown, junior athletic training major, just how badly my nightly escapades affected his sleeping schedule and what tips he would give me to quiet things down. His response was surprisingly succinct: “You have never bothered me because you never have sex.” Well, that was helpful.
But, I have compiled tips based on an online seminar from Gustavus Adolphus College and opinions from other college students:
1. Sock That Knob and Send a Text – This classic method involves putting a sock or hat on the outside of your door and signaling to your roommate that you need alone time, whether it be with somebody else or actually alone. Based on an experience I had at the Ramada Inn, I assure you that this is the same reason you use “Do Not Disturb” signs at a hotel. It turns out it’s actually for the maid’s benefit. My apologies, housekeeping, I didn’t know you’d come to get my towels so early. But really, it is also respectful to send a text to your roommate prior to prevent you two (or three) from an awkward situation and improve communication between you and your roommates.
2. Play Some Music – Music has been scientifically proven to enhance certain moods depending on factors such as beat, tone and pitch. Finding good atmospheric music can help you and your partner feel more comfortable, and creates white noise for better privacy. We understand people have sex, but nobody needs to hear how it’s going. And you know that one odd person on your floor you don’t really know but who always seems to be looking at you? It’s because he or she heard what you and your lover were up to last night.
3. Make It Less Awkward – If the guy or girl you have brought home is somebody you would like to continue seeing, introduce that person to your roommate. Just because he or she sleeps with you doesn’t mean your roommate will automatically feel comfortable with another person sharing the same space.
Teach your partner about room rules if you don’t want him or her to leave clothes around or sleep in until four p.m.
But you should talk about this briefly with your roommate so you can establish boundaries in your home. Just remember to stay classy, Otterbein.
